Who gets the friends?

Ive been wanting to write about this subject for a while now but for some reason or another I havent! Probably because it is more of one of my rants rather than a well thought out, well written blog post! But thats ok cuz its my blog, right?!

So I will pose this question to all of you...In a divorce (where clearly the couple parts hating eachother and it ends up being a "messy divorce"...basically Im talking about me and Mike) is it possible to keep mutual friends???

I have had a really hard time with this. Mainly because I don't think its possible. How can you be friends with a man who did what Mike did to his wife and kids and still be friends with the woman he did this to? How can you look me in the eyes and tell me what a jerk he is and then leave facebook or myspace comments for him asking how he is doing and how great he and his new wifey look?! I just don't get it. I feel like you either think he is a jerk or you don't! I think loyalty is a huge part of friendship of any kind, and when people are "friends" with both Mike and I I feel betrayed by that person, and if I can be totally honest I really dont consider them a friend to me. How can I?

I am not looking to keep all the friends. Im not even looking for people to be on my side....I am just wanting people to decide who they wanna be friends with, because I am tired of getting people who ask how Im doing, tell me what an idiot my ex is when they see me. Then do the same thing to him! If you don't think what he did was awful then don't lie to me. I feel like sides need to be chosen and then have some loyalty people!

Now, maybe I'm just being the emotional woman that I so often am (especially when it comes to the subject of my divorce), but am I wrong for feeling like people should take a side and have loyalty in divorce????