Saturday, August 22, 2009
Do things ever really change?
Im gonna warn u all that this blog is more about me venting than anything so if it doesnt make sense sorry....with that said. I have been divorced for going on 3 years and the man is still the same selfish man he was when we were married. Is it possible for someone to change? In his case, I dont think its possible. All he thinks about is himself, I have never known someone to be as self centered as he is. Ive never known a dad to be so disconnected from his kids. He tells me ALL the time that those kids mean everything to him but in the same breath tell me he is "booked on thursdays and Saturdays until October". Keep in mind he sees his boys 2x a month and it happens to be Thursday night thru Sunday. So basically he is too busy for his own kids that he sees so little as it is. I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is to have the father of your children totally disreguard the needs of them to fulfill his own selfish wants. I don't get it. I feel so sad for Kyle and Cody, they are the ones who will suffer. They are too young to realize what their dad is doing now but one day they will realize it and I do not look forward to that sad day. Until then what do you do? I guess be the best mom I can and keep my feelings for their dad separate.....divorce sucks.
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4 comments:
All I can say is I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. As a mom we just want what's best for our kids, and it's hard to see them hurt or potentially get hurt. It's pretty sad when you feel like you have to protect them from being hurt by their own father. Unbelievable!
Football is more important than the boys! (everyone needs a hobby)
Who doesn't need down time?(which of course he doesn't plan for the 24 days he doesn't have the boys. Might I add he doesn't watch the boys for your downtime, you pay a sitter)
And you are the one making everything difficult? (of course, you are not the one changing the arrangement close to every week to attend sporting events)
Sucks to argue with a man who turns everything back on you and thinks he is going above and beyond what a parent should be doing! If you have to state you are going above and beyond because he provides medical, child support and occassional visits, you don't get the sacrifice it takes when it comes to raising children. He may never get it!! At least you have a good support system to make up where he lacks. Although according to him he is not selfish, and YOU are the problem.
Where can I find a "problem" that can do such a great job raising my kids for such little money??
okay, so I guess I went on a little bit of a rant comment yesterday...it is so emotional! what I should have said was...
If he doesn't come to see Kyle and Cody, he is the one missing out on the rewards of watching two wonderful boys grow and reach important milestones. I really don't know any parents who would make a decisions to miss out on those moments. If seeing them "11 days in a row" is too many, I can't wrap my head around that.
You have so much family and friends that LOVE Kyle and Cody, I doubt they can feel a void. They may never know the lengths you have gone to and the battles you have fought to keep Mike a part of their life, but they will benefit from all your hard work and having their Dad in their life!! Kids may always look at their Dad like a hero and may never know the truth, but you are an AWESOME mom for allowing them to have those thoughts while you are struggling to convince Mike that they are worth it!
The sad thing is, people will rally around a man and "support" his decisions when they directly affect and hurt the kids. You are such a strong and wonderful mom, despite all the struggles and your boys are turning out so amazing because of you and your sacrifices!!
love ya BFF!!!
another rant comment, but a lil more positive...I hope!
Part of my family did everything they could to not bad talk my mom. They didn't want me to see the struggles and judge her based on their opinions. When I was old enough to see it, and see even with ME pleading that she change or one day she will look back and will wonder why her kids don't speak to her.
I have not spoken to her since high school.
Keep up the good work. If Mike doesn't make an effort, they will eventually realize it and figure out how they want to deal with it themselves. Everyone says it, but it's true, he is missing out and one day he will wonder why his kids have not spoken to him in years, why no one calls him to say Merry Christmas, and why no one visits him in a nursing home when he is unable to care for himself. The best thing you can do is raise them with all the love you can possibly give, not bad talk Mike around them, let them figure it out themselves.
Sorry you have to deal with this, and I'm even more bummed that this is just sooo common!
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